The Giving Tree and Attachment Figures

This week’s book is The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein. First published in 1964, this classic children’s book has never gone out of print. Even today, it’s content resonates. It’s usage as a bibliotherapy tool is multifunctional, as the tale can be interpreted in numerous different ways, which we can and will explore in this blog. Is it a story of giving to someone we care about? Is it a story of giving too much at our own expense? Is it a story of a relationship where one party takes? The beauty of The Giving Tree is it can be used to illustrate many different concepts in therapy. For today’s perspective however, we are going to read it as a model of identifying our attachment figures – who were we able to form secure attachments with? Were we able to form secure attachments in our childhoods?

Premise of The Giving Tree

Simply put, The Giving Tree is about an apple tree and a boy. Throughout the story, the tree gives of herself to the boy; first allowing him to climb her branches and eat her apples, to sit in her shade and eventually she starts to physically give of herself. She allows the boy to cut her branches to build a house. He eventually cuts her down to build a boat. And finally when she is but a stump, she allows him to sit on her. As previously mentioned – it can be read in many different ways!

Attachment Figure

One of the ways I like to use The Giving Tree is to help children find and define their attachment figure (most often their parent or guardian). In the book, the tree is the attachment figure for the boy. No matter what happens or however long he is gone, the tree is always there for her boy. This can be interpreted as a parent figure always being there for a child, no matter what may happen. This can be used to ask your client (child or adult) who was or is the person in their life that they have always been able to count on? Who makes them feel safe and secure? Is there a time that person hasn't been available for them? If the client is unable to identify a person who can they can identify as an attachment figure, this may be a good place to begin further work.

Exploring the Past

The book can also be used as a jumping off point for exploring the past of a client, particularly around the attachment styles they may have. Does our adult client have an insecure attachment style? Let’s read The Giving Tree to begin a conversation about what their attachments have looked like throughout their life. Is there someone they can come back to again and again? If there isn’t let’s look deeper into why that might be. Not only can the book be used to discuss our present relationships, and how we are currently expressing our needs and boundaries but it can also be used to help clients identify what relationships in their past or even in their childhoods might have looked like. It can be used to begin conversations about our families of origin, about our romantic relationships. our relationships with our children, or our relationships with the world around us and how we form our attachments to each.

Final Thoughts

The Giving Tree is a complex story, and it comes with a number of different interpretations. Keep an eye on this blog in the future for other ways you can use The Giving Tree in your practice.